A New Way of Life

Welcome to my new blog! It’s been over a year since I’ve blogged about anything but now is a good time for me to pick it back up. Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a 31 year old wife and stay-at-home mom. I’ve been married to my husband for a little over five years and we have a four year old daughter and a two year old son. Recently, I made the decision to become a Beachbody coach. If you would like to watch my YouTube video on that, please click here.

Basically, over the past nine years, I have never been consistent with my workouts or diet and it’s showing now. I’m the heaviest I have ever been in my life and my measurements are huge. I’m not at all happy with the way I look and feel and my health is beginning to deteriorate because of my irresponsible eating habits and lack of activity. This blog will be a great way for me to track my progress and help keep me accountable. I intend to be fully open and honest with everyone so you can see my journey and possibly start one of your own.

Body Measurements:
Weight – 289
Height – 5’4″
Chest – 49.5″
Right Arm – 15″
Left Arm – 14.5″
Waist – 48″
Hips – 64″
Right Thigh – 32″
Left Thigh – 33″
Right Calf – 19″
Left Calf – 18.5″

No, that’s not a pretty picture. That’s a sign of neglecting one’s body and not caring. Eventually, the strain of unhealthy living comes out via thyroid problems, chronic swelling of feet and ankles, knee problems, back problems, hormone imbalances, etc.

I’m going to take this journey step by step, day by day. As a coach, the first workout program I am going to complete is ChaLEAN Extreme. I am combining those workouts with the eating plan outlined in 21 Day Fix and am very excited to see what my results will be in 90 days! If you have questions of any kind, please feel free to email me at kittiecatgirl7@yahoo.com. Or, check out my Beachbody website for information on products for weight loss and getting healthy. I look forward to posting great results over the next several weeks!

Hospital Memories

Tonight, I can’t sleep. Usually, that’s because my mind is running a million miles an hour. For some reason, my thoughts are wandering to memories about my children when they were first born.

Each of my children went through a separation from me shortly after they were born. Rebekah was sick and had to be put in the NICU. She had a very low platelet count and had to have a few transfusions. She was taken from me less than twenty-four hours after I gave birth to her. That was really, really difficult. I was only a few hundred feet away from her at the hospital but I was plagued with worry and sadness, wondering if she would have to stay in the NICU even after I was discharged. Praise God, she was able to come home with us and has never had a problem with her platelet count since. Benjamin, on the other hand, was a totally different story.

During my labor with Ben, his heart rate dropped and the doctors had to perform an emergency C-section. I had an epidural so they didn’t have to put me out. I can remember that he started crying even before they had gotten him out. He was healthy and strong, one of the strongest babies I had ever seen. The complication that time was me. I was in the hospital for three days. Everything was great. A few hours after they discharged me, I had a fever of 104.6. The rushed me into the hospital again only this time, I would be separated from my newborn baby and the rest of my family for three days.

That was probably one of the darkest times in my life. It was one thing knowing that your child was sick but you could visit 24/7 if you wanted. It was a whole different story to know that you would have to stay in the hospital, alone, while your children didn’t understand why you couldn’t be with them. I was hurting so bad and I don’t know how I made it through those days. The only thing I can think of was that God was right there, hurting with me and helping me through.

Not sure why my mind drifted to these two events. I still get sad when I think of the two separations, especially with Ben. Part of me is so thankful that we are done having children. Of course, there is that mommy instinct that would love to cuddle a newborn again. But then I think about the two smiling faces that I get to see every day and I’m thankful that we can move on from those incidents and look forward to happier days, Lord willing.

SeaWorld: The Face of Evil?

Some of my fondest memories from childhood were captured among marine mammals. From the time I was born, my mother took my siblings and me to SeaWorld San Diego at least once a year. When we were older, we had annual passes to the park. During two of my teenage summers, I traveled to San Antonio for SeaWorld Career Camp. We learned about caring for the animals at SeaWorld and put many grueling hours into preparing food and cleaning the various kitchens where the fish are prepared. This year, we bought passes for SeaWorld San Diego so I can introduce my children to one of my favorite places in the world. And yet, with everything I know about SeaWorld and what goes on behind the scenes, I have complete strangers telling me I’m a bad person for supporting a “marine mammal prison”.

Now, before I say my opinion on the matter, let me clarify something. I’m well aware that SeaWorld is not the only marine theme park organization in the world. Many cruel and unnecessary things go on at other parks. I’ve seen the horrific pictures of dolphins being captured in the wild and the awful ways they are transported. The same goes for sea lions and orcas. That being said, I would never, ever support an organization that I believed was cruel to any animal. So why, some of you may ask, do I support SeaWorld?

For starters, 80% of the animals in the SeaWorld parks are bred in captivity. SeaWorld has not captured a wild dolphin or orca for many years simply to put in their “circus acts” as some people call them. The other 20% of the animals are rescues who cannot be released back into the wild. Just the other day, we were watching a presentation from one the Animal Rescue team members. She was introducing us to a little sea lion who had been struck on the head by a boat. She had several fissures in her brain and would never be able to have a normal life in the wild. SeaWorld has taken her in so they may care for her until she dies a natural death. But SeaWorld doesn’t keep all of the animals they rescue. Many of those animals are returned to the wild once they are deemed 100% healthy. While it is true that SeaWorld was fined for the cruel way they were capturing animals back in the 1970’s, they have since changed their policy.

One of the biggest gripes people have about SeaWorld is their shows. Animal rights activists get really upset that the animals are “forced to perform or they won’t get fed”. Let me tell you, that is so far from the truth it’s not even funny. The trainers cannot force the animals to do anything. These animals perform of their own free will. I’ve observed times when the animals were stubborn and didn’t want to perform. The only form of punishment they receive is to be ignored for a small period of time. The trainers must prepare a certain amount of food for the animals each day and they must feed that entire amount of food without exception (unless, of course, the animal is sick or something of that nature). They receive extra treats when they perform especially well. And if they don’t feel like performing, the trainers do not force them to stay in the show or anything of the sort. They simply let the animal have the day off.

These are just a couple of things that I’ve noticed people have a big problem with. I wish they would do the research necessary before they come to their wrong conclusions. I’m also aware that there is a group of SeaWorld trainers that have left the organization and now speak for the release of these animals. Granted, I’m sure they know more than I do about the problems that come with having these animals in captivity. But based on everything I know about SeaWorld and how they run their parks, I don’t see any form of cruelty or bad business.

Bottom line, I will continue to support SeaWorld and the wonderful things they are doing for conservation and the rescue of injured animals. I may get some hate directed toward me for this blog but I will stand my ground.

Overcoming Darkness

Stephanie reluctantly opened her eyes to the dark ceiling above her. No light shone in the room, not even from the open window. It was still extremely early. She rolled onto her side and tapped her phone, squinting at the sudden brightness. “Only 5:23? Ugh…” Stephanie groaned and slowly dragged her body out of bed, careful so as not to wake her husband. She didn’t really want to be vertical at the moment but she felt too awake to stay in bed. Stephanie went through her morning bathroom routine, avoiding the mirror despite the fact that it ran the length of the room. She didn’t want to see the puffy, red eyes that would be the product of her sobbing the night before. After shutting off the light, she dragged her feet to the living room and sat cross-legged on the couch, pulling a blanket around her shoulders. She listened for any sounds of wakefulness but both children were asleep. “Even they realize it’s too early,” she thought glumly.

Stephanie hadn’t bothered to flip on the light. The green numbers from the cable box glowed faintly in the room, giving her just enough to see by. She stared at the pictures on the walls, particularly the family portrait they had just recently taken. Tears began spilling down her cheeks. A sob escaped her lips and she felt the familiar pain crackle in her chest. “God, why am I so unhappy?” she wondered. “I have a beautiful family and a wonderful husband. Why am I so sad I can’t even function?” Stephanie grabbed a pillow and pressed it to her face to stifle the sound of her sobs. The last thing she wanted was for her husband, Billy, to come down the hall and wonder what was wrong. He’d dealt with enough of her depression lately, particularly since she had recently fought against overwhelming thoughts of suicide.

Open your Bible. Stephanie heard the command just as clearly as if God had whispered it into her ear. Forcing herself out of the ball she had curled up into, she reached for her phone that she had put on the coffee table. Read  Matthew 14:22. She opened up her Bible app and went to Matthew, recognizing that it was the story of Jesus and Peter walking on the water. Stephanie read through the story, a familiar favorite since her childhood. Then she sat quietly, listening for the Voice that calmed her. But He was silent, letting her reflect. She remembered one of the dares she had read in a book called The Respect Dare. The reader was supposed to put herself in Peter’s place and imagine she was there in the story. At the time, Stephanie had thought it was silly and hadn’t gotten much out of it. Now, she wondered if there was something applicable for her. She set her phone down and closed her eyes, leaning back against the couch.

Stephanie sat in a wooden boat, tossed and flailed by the wind and waves of a stormy sea. She was terrified of being thrown over the side and drowning in the angry, black depths far below. Suddenly, she could make out…something coming across the water towards her. For a second, she was even more frightened, thinking that a ghost or a demon was floating on top of the waves. Then, He spoke to her. “Do not be afraid, Stephanie.” With a start, she realized it was her Lord, Jesus.

Stephanie’s heart swelled with relief and she felt a strange longing to go to him. “Lord, if it is You, tell me to come to You and I will walk on the water with You.”

Jesus said one word to her. “Come.”

As Stephanie imagined herself walking on the storm-tossed water towards her Lord, a strange thought occurred to her. She felt as though she was adrift on a sea of depression. The waves longed to swallow her up and hold her beneath where she would drown in a sea of sadness and despair. For a time, she was able to walk on top of the water, focused only on her Lord. Then, distraction would creep in and the angry waves would pull at her, trying to force her head under where she wouldn’t be able to fill her lungs with air. As Stephanie started to sink, she cried out, “Lord, save me! Please!”

Immediately, Jesus reached down and caught her, lifting her back on top of the surface. His powerful eyes gazed deep into her soul. She was held spellbound by those eyes, unable to look anywhere but at her Lord. He gently shook His head and said, “Daughter, why did you doubt?”

Stephanie opened her eyes and looked around the living room, slightly surprised to be on solid ground. The room was slowly becoming bright, reflecting the rising sun. She sat and marveled at what God had just shown her. It was possible for her to defeat depression. Happiness and the joy of her salvation were within her grasp. All she had to do was focus on her Lord and He would guide her. She knew it would be a struggle. Instinctively, she was bracing herself for the fight that she knew was ahead. But Jesus had just promised her that she would overcome, as long as she didn’t doubt.

BOTTOM LINE: Christ makes all things possible (Philippians 4:13). Sometimes, rather than clinging to the side of the boat, we need to step out in faith, knowing that He will lead us where we need to go. While distractions may come, He will always be there to save us when we start to fall.

Broken and Re-built

On Sunday, September 16, I was totally excited! Our church was a scheduled stop for the Believer tour featuring Kutless and FireFlight, two of my favorite Christian bands ever! Normally, when our church hosts a concert, I volunteer to work rather than buy a ticket. For one thing, they really need ushers, backstage crew, help with selling merchandise, etc. But the cool thing about being a volunteer is you get to watch the concert for free! Since my husband and I are a little strapped for cash of late, it was better that I volunteered anyway. So on Sunday, after a great morning of worship and study, I impatiently counted down the hours until I needed to be back at the church to help set up.

Now, I don’t want to bore you with all the little details of everything that happened. Let’s just say I had a great time helping sell FireFlight merchandise and hanging out with Rhett Walker, one of the other artists on tour. I enjoyed FireFlight’s set on stage from the front row that was specially roped off for the volunteers. But really, the whole reason I wanted to be there was to see Kutless and I couldn’t wait for their set to start. I had never seen them in concert and I was totally stoked that I would have front row access to an awesome concert! I had no clue just how awesome it was going to be.

Kutless started off with some of their harder rock songs, which was great because it got the entire audience pumped up. Then they slowed it down to perform the songs that are the heart and soul of the band. For those of you who are not familiar with Kutless, their first few CDs are very upbeat and a little on the harder side of Christian rock. As the band has grown, they have produced more and more worship music. The last several songs of their set were those worship songs. At this point in the concert, I had moved to the side of the stage and was standing at the bottom of the stairs. There was no one around me since all the ticket holders were in front of the stage. Literally, it felt like the church was empty except for me and the band. And that’s when I felt God move.

Jon Micah, the lead singer, began to tell us a story about pain and loss. His uncle had passed away from cancer and he told us how God had used that cancer to bring his uncle to Christ. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, just watching and listening. Now here’s where it gets interesting. I couldn’t even tell you what song they played after that story. I don’t remember it at all. The only thing I remember is just being broken before God. For the past few months, I have been struggling with some very tough, personal issues in my life. I won’t go into detail because I want to protect those involved but let’s just say that my heart has been broken over some instances that have been happening in my life. While Kutless was singing, I felt God begin to pull each of those instances out of my heart one by one. We looked at them together and then…it was as though God hit my reset button.

Tears were streaming down my face. It didn’t matter that I was only feet away from one of my favorite bands in the world. It didn’t matter that there were several hundred people behind me. At that moment, it was just me and God sitting on the floor of the sanctuary. I bowed my head and watched the painful memories seem to float away one by one. Then, the song was over. I looked up, wiped my cheeks, and just waited for what was next. Again, I couldn’t even tell you what song they played but I remember feeling lighter and uplifted. I hadn’t felt that way in so long. I felt healed and whole.

After the concert was over, I ran back to the table so I could help with the rush of people buying final items for FireFlight to sign. Once that was done, I was still in awe. Outwardly, I was having the time of my life joking around Rhett Walker and then hanging out with Kutless for a bit after almost everyone had left. Inwardly, I was amazed. Yes, the painful memories are still there but…there is a different feel to them. It’s as though I was stuck in a room that was full of pictures and I couldn’t leave the room because the door was locked. I was forced to stare at those pictures over and over again while trying to find an exit. Now, the door has been opened and I am freed from the room. I’m still in the house and the pictures are still there but my focus is now on what’s ahead rather than the past.

I’m not sure if Kutless will every fully know how God used them this last Sunday night. I’m sure that, even if they did know, they would give all the credit to God anyway. But I’m so thankful that they have been obedient to write and perform the music God has given them to share. And I’m beyond blessed that God moved the way He did. My attitude has changed more than I thought possible in these past few days. Of course, there’s still work to be done. I can’t get complacent or I’ll end up right back in a locked room. But finally, I can move forward. Even though my outward circumstances haven’t changed much, my inward view has and my joy has been refilled. I suppose that’s what James, the half-brother of Jesus Christ, meant when he wrote his New Testament book:

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” — James 1:2-4

Liberal or Conservative Batman

So far this year, there have been two highly anticipated films released. “The Hunger Games” and “The Dark Knight Rises” were both expected to do well on the silver screen and become two of the biggest releases in 2012. And it would seem that everyone wants to bring politics into both of them. Granted, “The Hunger Games” is essentially about what happens when a tyrannical government decides to take over so I can see how people would want to politicize that particular movie. But “The Dark Knight Rises”? I’m a little more hesitant to broach that topic.

Let me begin by saying that I am a die hard conservative. I love Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. I would vote out every single so-called Republican in office today if I could. I can’t stand California’s government because the lot of them are a bunch of liberal idiots that don’t deserve to run a high school council let alone an entire state. I watch movies like “V For Vendetta” and shout that our country will turn into something similar if we don’t watch out. But even I put on the brakes when it comes to turning Gotham’s hero into a political figure.

I remember the debate that was spurred on by “The Dark Knight” in 2008. Several Democrats were irritated with Christopher Nolan because it seemed that he was trying to turn Batman into President Bush (at least, according to their viewpoint). For those who may not be avid fans of the movie, let me illuminate my point. Batman, along with Harvey Dent and Commissioner Gordon, are successfully locking away many of the criminals in Gotham. The head criminals decide to hire the Joker to kill Batman. The Joker demands that Batman must reveal his true identity or someone will die every single day. After a few days of this, Bruce Wayne feels that he cannot live with the blood he believes to be on his hands and decides to turn himself in. Before the chaos of this decision erupts, Alfred the butler gives Bruce some very sound advice. Exasperated by the situation, Bruce says, “What would you have me do?” Alfred looks and him and says, “Endure.” Even Harvey Dent, after interrogating a pawn of the Joker, shouts at a retreating Batman, “You can’t give in!” The Joker was labeled a terrorist and it was really up to Batman to stop him. While many of the citizens cried that Batman should just give in to his demands, the main people involved make a very different decision. I remember being really irritated by this whole debate four years ago. To me, it’s not a political viewpoint that we’re dealing with in “The Dark Knight”. It’s a basic principle that if you give in to a terrorist, it’s not going to stop them. It’s only going to spur them on.

So now we come to “The Dark Knight Rises” and, interestingly enough, you have both political sides claiming that the movie agrees with their beliefs. When the first theatrical trailer was released, we see Selina Kyle (a.k.a. Catwoman) whispering, “You think this can last? There’s a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you’re all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.” The Democrats cry, “See! This movie is going to be about the downfall of the rich because it’s not fair that they have more money than everyone else and they should be taxed more!”

Then, Mitt Romney’s company, Bain, becomes a hot topic and the Democrats cry, “See! Christopher Nolan is pointing out that Bain was an awful company because the main villain in the movie is Bane. They have the same name!” On the red side of the fence, you have people, like Glenn Beck, saying that Nolan has a grasp of what would happen if the Occupy Movement had its way (see this website for the article). And finally, here I sit, a fan of Nolan’s vision of Batman, shaking my head at all of the political talk and asking myself, “Can’t we just enjoy the movie as it is?” I admit, I can see how politics are pulled out of the movie. If I were inclined to do so, I would agree with what Glenn Beck has to say about what Bane and his ideas represent. But I have to put on the brakes because, in reality I don’t think Nolan was trying to make a political statement at all. I think he was trying to tell a good story.

Now, I don’t know what Nolan’s political leanings are nor do I even care. But I do know what he has said about the political storm raging around his movie and, to sum it up in my words, his intentions weren’t political at all. For starters, Bane was a character in the comic books long before the debate between Romney and Obama started. The character of Catwoman is a thief who feels that she is entitled to other people’s possessions and money so, of course, she is going to feel that the rich don’t deserve what they have. Bruce Wayne inherited a huge company which made him rich and, in turn, allows Batman to have all the neat toys he does.

So to sum it all up, here’s what I say. “The Dark Knight Rises” is an awesome conclusion to a well-written vision of Batman. In the politically charged atmosphere that we live in today, can’t we just put all that talking aside and enjoy the story? If you’re looking for a political viewpoint and it doesn’t line up with your beliefs, you’re going to be disappointed and miss the awesomeness of the bat man. How about we all stop wondering what’s in Nolan’s head and accept that he created a masterpiece trilogy? What a novel concept.

The Dark Knight Rises: A Review

I was never a fan of comic book movies. I found most of them to be cheesy, boring, or a mixture of both. Then, in 2008, a little movie called “The Dark Knight” came out and the trailers intrigued me enough to want to go see it. Since then, my perspective has changed drastically. While I’m still not a fan of the cheesy old Tim Burton interpretations of the bat man, Christopher Nolan has given me a reason to at least respect the genre of comic book movies. I have been waiting four long years to see the conclusion to this amazing trilogy about Bruce Wayne and let me just say that I was definitely not let down!

At the beginning of “The Dark Knight Rises”, we see a battered, broken, and reclusive Bruce Wayne who can’t even walk around without the help of a cane. Immediately, I’m questioning how he can possibly put the suit back on and resume being Gotham’s hero. Since the opening scenes of the movie introduce us to the notorious new villain, Bane, it’s quite easy to wonder how in the world Batman will triumph over this particular evil spawn. While the plot does take awhile to get rolling to “the good stuff”, we are rewarded with a rippling story that leaves you hanging until the very end. Nolan, detouring from his normal story-telling, even surprises the audience with a couple of twists that you don’t see coming and may leave you with a dropped jaw.

The usual cast of actors is good, as expected. Christian Bale is quite believable as the Dark Knight of Gotham who is now being blamed for the death of Harvey Dent. Gary Oldman is brilliant as always, playing Commissioner Gordon who has been living the lie of “Harvey Dent, White Knight” for the past eight years. And Michael Caine, though a sadder version of Alfred, is a treat to watch. Then we have the newcomers and, I will say, I was a little skeptical of a few.

Let me start with Anne Hathaway. I’m used to seeing her in movies such as “The Princess Diaries” and “The Devil Wears Prada”. When I read that she had been cast as Catwoman (a.k.a. Selena Kyle), I definitely raised an eyebrow. I really didn’t think she would pull it off successfully but by now, I suppose I should trust Christopher Nolan’s judgment since he hasn’t let me down yet. Hathaway was absolutely fabulous as the pseudo-villain in this movie! Her character didn’t have a whole lot of depth but, somehow, she made Catwoman likable and charming in a bad girl sort of way. I was impressed, to say the least.

Now on to the “big” bad guy. I wasn’t sure how anyone could top the Joker (may Heath Ledger forever R.I.P.). He was such a good arch-nemesis of Batman that I wondered what Nolan could possibly do for the story since we would never really get closure in that area. Thank goodness for Tom Hardy. While he was a good actor in “Inception”, he was a phenomal actor as Bane. For the entire time he is on-screen, the audience only gets to see him in a breathing mask. Hardy had to do most of the acting with his voice and his eyes and boy, did he do a good job of convincing me that he was a war lord on a mission! And unlike the Joker, we do get to know a little bit about his back story, which I really appreciated because I hate being left hanging in the dark, especially when a franchise is ending.

And of course, we have Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Contrary to the rumors that ran wild, he does not play the Riddler. That would have been far too much badness for one movie. He does, however, play a very awesome good character. I won’t say more than that because it would spoil the story but I will say that he was an essential part of the movie.

“The Dark Knight Rises” was a great movie, in my opinion, and I really think that Christopher Nolan outdid himself. I wasn’t sure how any Batman movie could top “The Dark Knight” but surprises do happen. I thought it was a very satisfying end to a really great trilogy. It’s almost ironic that I can watch a movie where supposed “real” people run around in masked costumes and yet I get so involved in the story. But I guess that’s the fun of movies about super heroes, especially the ones like Batman who don’t have any special super powers. They’re relatable because they haven’t been bitten by a radioactive spider or caught in a solar storm (or whatever it was that happened to the Fantastic Four). They’re just regular, somewhat psychologically unstable, men trying to save the world and that’s what makes it so intriguing to watch.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Two years ago next month, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Her due date was August 5th. She decided to come into the world on July 27th. She had a few minor health problems but has since become a happy, healthy toddler that loves books, animals, and music. Forty weeks ago tomorrow, God decided that it was time to start forming a new baby boy and increase our family. I remember getting a hunch and going to the little Kaiser Permanente clinic up here in Victorville. It only took about an hour to get the positive pregnancy result. I started crying because I was so happy! My husband and I both wanted more children and God was granting our desire. Albeit, it was a little sooner than we expected but we were ecstatic nonetheless. Now I sit here extremely pregnant, completely antsy, and on more pins and needles than I can remember.

I was definitely spoiled by Rebekah’s early arrival. I was so very sure that Benjamin would be coming early too. In fact, I felt ready to give birth about four weeks ago! Maybe I should feel bad for wanting my pregnancy to be over. I know that there are many women who can’t have biological children and who long for the feel of a baby growing inside of them. There are also women who enjoy being pregnant. I’ll be completely honest…I have NO idea why! I absolutely love being a mom but I don’t equate that with being pregnant. I love the end result. Holding a little, tiny newborn in your arms is one of the most gratifying feelings in the world. Seeing that beautiful baby for the first time is such an amazing and beautiful moment. But the actual pregnancy…Let me just put it this way. I didn’t miss being pregnant after Rebekah was born and I really won’t miss it after Benjamin is born.

So here I sit at the computer, feeling the occasional Braxton Hicks contraction, and wondering when things are going to move forward! I’m excited to meet my son. I can’t wait to see who he looks like and what his personality is going to be. I can’t wait to be a new mother again. The thought just warms my heart (yes, I know it’s corny but it’s true). Even as I’m sitting here typing, Rebekah comes up to me every minute or so to show me a toy, tell me a word, or lean her head against me and say, “Aww” and I love it! So come on, little guy! Both me and your daddy are ready for you to enter the world!

 

Looking Back

Lately, there’s a lot of wedding talk going on in my circle of girl friends. One of my good friends is probably going to get engaged within the next couple of weeks. Another of my good friends goes through ups and downs all the time because she can’t seem to find THE guy. One of my acquaintances is renewing her vows with her husband in November (even though they’ve only been married a year…). All this talk about white dresses, cake, and bridesmaids brings to mind my own five month journey from engagement to wedding.

On our third year dating anniversary, Billy proposed to me up in the mountains above Palm Springs. It was such a blissful, happy moment! I had begun to think that we were not going to get married because he was taking so long to make up his mind! Now I was ready to move forward and start walking down the aisle. Of course, anyone who’s gotten married and planned a wedding knows that there is far more to it than just picking out what color flowers will go in the bouquet. What is it about weddings that brings out the family drama? This person doesn’t want that person to be invited and that person doesn’t want this person to sit at the same table and this bridesmaid doesn’t like the dress. I mean the list goes on! You would think that it would be a happy planning time where everyone cheerfully contributes to what the bride and groom want for their day.

I don’t know why but all the surrounding talk about weddings has me feeling slightly bitter about my own wedding in some ways. I hear about the two seperate families becoming more close-knit as the day approaches or about how the sister/maid-of-honor is helping in every way possible and I think, “Why didn’t it go that way for our wedding? Why was there SO MUCH drama regarding the guest list and the fact that certain people weren’t getting it the way they wanted? Why this? Why that?” It almost makes me want to redo the whole thing and make it exactly the way that I want it rather than compromise on a thousand different levels! No wonder that acquaintance I mentioned is renewing her vows. It gives them the excuse for another wedding day!

But then, I pause. I pull out my wedding album and flip one by one through the pictures. Sure, I see the plastic smile on some people because they didn’t get their way in the end. Sure, I see the tension in the shoulders of some family members because they had to put up with people they didn’t like. But I also see my husband with a bigger smile than he’s ever had. I see his family members embracing me into the family as though I already belonged. I see the laughter and happiness on faces of friends and family who were truly happy that night. And, most important, I see my face in the candid shots and know that I was ecstatic that day despite everything else that went on behind the scenes. So, looking back, there may be a few things I would change but at the same time, I wouldn’t change the man I married and that’s the most important thing in the world regarding a wedding.

Forever: A Book Review

Sadly, I have reached the end of “The Wolves of Mercy Falls” trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater. When I picked up Shiver, which is the first book in the trilogy, I was very skeptical. Most of the reviews I had read about the book did not have nice or good things to say. By the time I picked up Linger, I was hungry to know what was going to happen next. Now that I’ve finished Forever, I still feel like I need more. While I really enjoyed the last book, it left me wanting.

But let’s not dwell on that. Foreveris one of those books that I just didn’t want to put down. The suspense was killing me pretty much the whole book, especially since Linger leaves off on quite the cliff hanger, and I really needed to know where the story was going and what was going to happen to the characters I had grown so fond of. With the exception of the prologue, Stiefvater leaves us in the heads of Sam, Grace, Cole, and Isabel for the entire book. The prologue gives us a tiny glimpse into the unstable mind of Shelby. I’m glad Stiefvater decided to only give us that little glimpse because I don’t think I could have handled yet another narrator. I had already grown so attached to the four main characters that I was very content to stay there.

Now that I’ve read the whole trilogy, I don’t think that “The Wolves of Mercy Falls” resembles “The Twilight Saga” much at all.Shivercontains the most similarities to the story of Bella and Edward. After that, Stiefvater takes us on a thrill ride of sickness, science, and werewolf mysteries that is actually quite original for the paranormal romance genre. In fact, as the story progresses, Cole and Isabel become just as important as Sam and Grace, maybe even more so in some ways. Not to mention, we don’t have to deal with a love triangle in this world, which is a breath of fresh air after the whole Bella/Edward/Jacob mess. Don’t get me wrong, I love “The Twilight Saga”. But it’s nice to read a story about werewolves that is even more original than where Stephenie Meyer took us with the shape shifters.

All in all, I absolutely loved this trilogy and I’m sad that it’s over. As I said at the beginning, Stiefvater definitely left me wanting more. While I have come to my own conclusions about what happens next, I would have loved actual closure on the part of the author. However, sometimes, the imagination is more fun to look at than actual print.